The Foundling
Chapter 1 – Ray
I cradle my wife, Nancy, as she cries, there is little I can say to comfort her. I escort her back to the car and drive us home. It’s a silent two-hour journey except for the occasional outbursts of her weeping. Our dog Jimmy sits beside her. Every few minutes he turns his head and flicks his tongue across her cheek, catching the teardrops and perhaps hoping he can lick away her sadness. I admire his attempts, but know a thousand more are yet to fall.
We’d driven out to Shoshone Lake in the Yellowstone backcountry to say goodbye to Nancy’s best friend, Carla. Carla died a week ago, eight thousand miles away in a small town in the suburbs of Sydney. Snatched from existence by a teenage driver at the wheel of a fast car. The funeral was today, and Nancy was torturing herself for not being there. I told her to go. We’d have found the money somehow, but she couldn’t justify it. She’d never made the journey when Carla was alive. There was no point now, she said. The day at Shoshone was her private memorial in a place that was dear to them both. I left her alone with her shoebox full of letters and old photographs and told her to take as much time as she needed.
It’s around 8:00pm when we arrive home, still warm though sunset is imminent. I stop the car, and we’re greeted by our other dogs: Jimmy’s mom, Martha, a wiry-haired terrier, and Rowen, a three-legged German Shepherd that showed up several years ago and just never left. Both are getting on in years and don’t travel well. Nancy goes into the house. The dogs follow me through the barn and watch as I round up the hens and lock them in for the night.
I come into the house and see Nancy in the front room. Her head is visible over the back of the sofa, she’s staring down at something on the floor.
On hearing my footsteps, she looks around at me with her finger pressed to her lips. Her other hand beckons me over. As I approach, I see that it’s a baby basket.
“What the…”
“Shh, he’s sleeping,” she whispers, “come and see.”
Unable to believe what I’m looking at, I crouch down and stare at the infant.
“Where the hell did that come from?”
“He was on the front porch. Isn’t he beautiful?”
“Yeah, but what’s he doing all the way out here?”
Our ranch is more than a little isolated. Three miles east is the town of Cody, west will take you past Buffalo Bill Reservoir and straight into the wilderness of Yellowstone.
“We should call the police,” I tell her.
“It can wait ‘til morning.”
“What do we do until then?”
“We’ll take care of him.”
“Whoever dumped him needs to be found. They might still be out there.” I walk over to the telephone.
Nancy is out of her seat in an instant, and we reach the telephone at the same time. As I go to lift the receiver, she presses her hand down on top of mine.
“Or they dumped him right after we left,” she says, “he could have been out there all day. Let’s wait ‘til morning, we’ll sort it out then.”
“The authorities need to be told.”
“Yes, but it might be hours before they get someone over here. Even if Sheriff Dawson takes him, what the hell is he going to do with a baby?”
“We should still tell him.”
“He’ll need a place for the night, a foster family or something. There’ll be phone calls and waiting around, all those people getting involved late tonight. Let’s leave it until tomorrow.”
“But he’ll ask why we didn’t report it when we first found him.”
“Say we got home late and the phone line was down.”
“Does he have anything with him, diapers or food?”
“Nope, only the romper suit he’s wearing and a blanket.”
“Nancy, this is crazy. He’ll be awake soon, need feeding, need his ass wiped. We don’t have all that stuff.”
“Shh, it’s OK, don’t panic…”
“I’m not panicking, I’m trying to be realistic here, we are not prepared to look after a baby!” I stand up and try to hold in the frustration that is beginning to stir inside me.
“We’ll be fine. There’s the soup I made yesterday in the fridge, and as for diapers, well, I’ll find something.” She makes her way back over to the sofa and sits down.
I know it’s wrong. I should put my foot down and insist we drive into town or at least call the station, but I can see it’s too late. I watch as she gently picks up the baby from the basket and holds him in the space where our own child should be. She coos softly to him and strokes his cheek, already smitten. She looks so at home with a child in her arms. t’s an image that tugs at my heartstrings. Twelve years of marriage but we were yet to be blessed with children. After such a tough day, I don’t want to upset her again.
“OK, but don’t get too… attached.”
“I think he’s waking up.”
She turns and sits the baby on her lap. I sit beside her and we gaze at the tiny person who has mysteriously entered our lives.
The baby opens his eyes and blinks several times to focus, then breaks into a huge smile. His arms flap around as his mouth opens and closes. He is undeniably cute.
“Look at those big blue eyes, isn’t he adorable?”
“He sure is. How old do you think he is?”
“I’d guess six or seven months. He’s got nice chubby legs and he’s cutting a tooth, look.”
She rolls his bottom lip down with her thumb, revealing a tiny speck of white. The baby doesn’t mind, he appears to be enjoying the attention and smiles again.
“Oh, you are such a sweet boy,” she laughs, sweeping him up into her arms. “Let’s see if you’re hungry.”
She leaves the room with the baby’s eyes just peeping over her left shoulder. He looks back at me as he gums her shirt, and I can’t stop myself from smiling.
Chapter 2 – Nancy
I walk to the front door with my head down, still wiping away the tears. It would be a long time before the ache in my heart left me. Carla had been my best friend since we were four years old.
I’m searching for my keys as I climb the front steps and don’t notice the basket until I’m right in front of it. I call out to Ray, then slap my hand over my mouth. The baby is sound asleep, and I could kick myself for yelling. Ray is out of earshot anyway. Knowing he’ll be inside in a few minutes, I don’t call him again.
I look out across our property. The view stretches for miles. Who would have left a baby here, and why?
I carry the basket into the house, set it down on the floor between my feet and stare down at the infant. Its head is tipped to one side, the tiny red lips are slightly parted. No child could look more peaceful. I reach out my hand and my finger hovers an inch above the angelic face. I long to feel the soft skin beneath my fingertips, but I pull back. The face is as precious as a bubble and I don’t want the moment to burst.
Questions flood my mind as I chew on my thumbnail. Who left it? Why? How long ago? We had been gone for more than eight hours.
Careful not to wake the baby, I skim my fingertip over the rosy cheek. There’s no movement. The soft snore continues at the same steady rate. I pull the blanket back and unbutton the plain white romper suit. Very slowly, I unbutton the front and take a peek into the diaper. It’s dry, and the baby is a boy.
I know Ray always wanted a son. Of course, he would be happy with a daughter but it broke my heart that I had yet to give him either. Maybe our prayers have been answered; perhaps this child has come into our lives to fill that void. We could love him, care for him and raise him as our own. There is no doubt in my mind that he will stay with us. I just have to get Ray to agree.
Chapter 3 – Ray
Nancy looks so comfortable with the baby. As I watch her with him, it’s hard to believe that she hasn’t raised our own. She’s so at ease with him and instinctively knows what to do. She moves around the kitchen holding him on her hip with one arm and gathering everything she needs with the other. I offer to help, but it’s clear she has things under control. She brings him back through to the lounge and props him up on cushions in the corner of the sofa. After wrapping a clean dish towel over his front, she tucks his hands inside and begins feeding him soup with a teaspoon. She looks as though she’s done it a thousand times, but the sad truth is that she has just observed her friends. The smile hasn’t left her face since we got home. There’s a glow around her and a spring in her step, something I didn’t think I would see for a long time after today.
The baby feeds well, smiles between mouthfuls and tries to free his arms. Nancy makes faces at him, swoops the food into his mouth with airplane sounds and scoops up the bits that ooze out from between his lips.
“He’s a good little eater,” she tells me between takeoffs. “I wonder how long it’s been since he last ate something.”
“A long time, probably. It’s unbelievable that someone would dump a kid like that. Such a cute one, too.”
Nancy spoons in the last of the soup, then wipes his mouth and picks him up. She sits him on her knee and holds his face between her thumb and forefinger while circling her other hand over his back. The baby looks in my direction with a blank expression. Seconds later his eyes widen, and a huge belch escapes him and he smiles.
I join them on the sofa, and Nancy lays him in my arms. She tucks her legs up and snuggles in beside us.
“This is just how we should be.”
I go to speak, to tell her again that he will only be here for one night. First thing in the morning, we’ll drive him to the police station, but the words don’t come. I can’t bring myself to break Nancy’s heart and crush the fantasy of the immediate family that has just been created under our roof. But the main reason I can’t tell her is because I’m not ready to see him go either.
Chapter 4 – Nancy
I barely sleep a wink that night. Time is precious and I am too excited. It’s hard not to be hypnotized by the baby’s breathing, a sound I have longed to hear for so many years. If my period is late, I cross my fingers and pray, and when it comes, I cry. Each time I conceived, Ray and I wept with joy. When I miscarried I sobbed for days. I would slap my own useless belly, punishing it and myself, for not protecting the tiny fetuses. For letting them slide out into the cruel world, too premature for even a whisper of hope. I think of them now, those tiny lost souls. Are they here with me now, watching my love shower down onto another woman’s child?
A tear wells in my eye, and I make a promise to do the very best I can for this little boy. I wonder what has happened in his short life. Where’s his mother? Is she lying in bed thinking of him and crying, hoping she’s done the right thing? What if she changes her mind and wants to take him back, or is she glad to be rid of him? It’s no secret that we long for a child. Were we carefully chosen, or was our house a snap decision by someone at a desperate point in their life?
Ray is as understanding as can be, but I know he longs for a family as much as I do. It’s something that tortures me more as the years go by. He would be a wonderful father, so kind and patient. Like most young couples, we had taken it for granted that children would come along. We joked about having mini versions of ourselves, dark-haired sons and fair-haired daughters that would inherit Ray’s calm and relaxed nature and not my hot temper. We had no reason to think it would never happen, but despite being the first of our circle of friends to get married, we were overtaken by them all when it came to having babies. I look at the child sleeping between us and dare to believe that he might just be what we have been wishing for all these years.
When my heavy lids close, my head jolts me back up and I check the baby. I reassure myself that he is still there, still breathing, still mine. Ray is asleep. He is lying on his left side facing us and the fingers of his right hand rest over the baby’s feet. The baby lies between us on his back, his arms flat to the mattress, tiny hands up by his head and closed. His fists are no bigger than a squeezed tea bag and even in his sleep are clenched tight. A brave little soldier ready to take on whatever life throws at him next. His legs are open, knees bent, heels together under Ray’s thick fingers.
I pull one of his hands down and press my lips against the delicate flesh. “You don’t have to fight anymore, you’ve got us now.”
I push thoughts of the morning away. Ray will insist that we take him to the station, hand him over and never see him again. What will they do, pass him over and let him get lost in the system? He should stay here; we can take care of him.
Daylight is beginning to shine into the room by the time I allow myself to snatch a few moments of sleep. It is short-lived though, no sooner have I closed my eyes than the soft humming sounds of the baby wake me. Still lying on my side, I look over at Ray as he wakes. He smiles the moment he sees us.
“Good morning. Sleep OK?” he whispers.
The baby responds with a smile and shakes his arms and legs.
“Looks like he did,” he says, leaning over the infant to kiss me. He opens his mouth to speak again, but stops himself. I can guess what he was about to say.
“He slept right through the night.”
“Did you get much sleep?”
“Enough. How about some coffee?”
“You stay there, I’ll get it. Does he need anything?”
“He will soon, he’s OK for the moment.”
Ray heads downstairs. I pick the baby up and lay him on my chest. The smile that greets me is priceless. There’s no doubt that he is as happy as I am that he’s here. He reaches out a hand and grabs my nose. I blow a raspberry that sends him into a laughing frenzy. It’s true to say that he has already stolen my heart.
Chapter 5 – Ray
From the kitchen I can hear Nancy laughing. As I prepare breakfast I listen to her singing and talking to the baby. Her words are interspersed with his happy squeals and gurgling. I dread what lies ahead for us today. The sight of them together first thing this morning is one I could get used to. Giving the baby up is going to hit her hard but it has to be done. He isn’t ours to keep. In a few hours’ time, we will drive to the station and hand him over to Sheriff Dawson, then come home and carry on with our lives. Us, the dogs and the hens, like it always has been and probably how it always will be.
I butter the toast, pour the coffee and carry the tray upstairs. Nancy is sitting up in bed with the baby on her belly and leaning back on her bent legs. She’s singing a nursery rhyme to him, he’s focused on her face as he listens to her voice.
“Looks like you’ve finally found someone who likes your singing.”
She shoots me a look of mock surprise, “What’s he saying?” she says, aiming the question at the baby. He giggles in response and kicks his legs, sending us both into laughter.
“Want some toast?”
Not wanting to let go of his hands, she turns my way with her mouth open. I lean over and let her take a bite. Just as I pull it away, he reaches out and takes the toast from me. He looks at me and grins, pleased with himself as he begins sucking on the crust that has gone straight to his mouth.
“Isn’t he just the most beautiful child?” Nancy says.
“He sure is.” I take a deep breath and gently stroke the top of his head. “But you know what we have to do.”
“Can’t we…”
“No.”
“Just for a bit longer…”
“No.”
“But…”
“But nothing. He’s not ours to keep; he needs to go to the authorities.”
“We can take care of him.”
“No.”
“Ray…”
“No! I knew keeping him last night was a bad idea. I should have known you’d get too attached.”
My tone startles the baby and he looks at me with wide eyes.
“It’s OK, it’s OK,” she says, holding him closer. “I’m glad we kept him last night, thank you for agreeing, I couldn’t have handed him over feeling the way I did. It’s just so unfair, he needs a home and we need a baby.”
“He doesn’t belong to us.”
“He doesn’t belong to anyone.”
“That’s not the point. We have to tell the police about him. They might be out looking for him for all we know. Hell, what if he was taken from someone, he might have a family of his own waiting for him? You didn’t think about that, did you?”
She glares at me for a moment as she chews her bottom lip, then reaches over and switches on the radio that is on the bedside cabinet.
“Listen out for something on the news then. In the meantime, I’m gonna run us a bath.”
I watch his gaze follow her out of the room. His bottom lip curls under the moment she is out of sight, and his eyes stay fixed on the space she has just occupied. Clearly, the bond between them is already a strong one.
***